High as a Kite in Love

The following is a continuation of my Godhead experiences during the month of October. It is best to read sequentially starting with the beginning of this experience: Becoming Whole: Embracing Emotions, Masturbation and Sex, then Taking the Stance of Other: Wind, Love, Vibrations and Food.

 

Screen Shot 2017-11-14 at 8.32.32 PM

October 22nd 2017

…The following morning, my partner Gregg and I awoke and took my lovable energetic Husky, Tank for a bike ride. Upon opening the door and stepping outside my senses were ignited. The beauty of the Universe was illuminating everything with the brightest luminosity and saturation I had ever witnessed, yet lacking in definition. Some may compare the brilliance I was witnessing to the effects that transpire when engaged with consciousness altering states. Yet, the sheer clarity and vibrancy of our world was an infinite amount more in-depth than that of the effects breath work, meditation or consumables may have.

The physical world I was engaging with felt fake, as if I was stepping into a 2D realm. I could see the energy of the entire world and cosmos with the most clarity and abundance I’ve had yet. The true nature of our world, being looked at with the infinite eyes of God Ourselves. The world around me had a certain amount of flatness – meaning nothing popped out as it does with 3 dimensional things. The depth of physical world ceased to be a thing. It was as if I was surrounded by flat surfaces. It was captivatingly beautiful. 

Gregg and I hopped onto our bikes and the two of us began peddling down the asphalt streets with Tank bounding happily alongside – a routine we’re all familiar with. As my legs pushed the stiff pedals of my bike I felt myself generating wind. The wind became stronger and more pronounced with each down stroke of my sandaled foot. The trees we rode past were glowing with Light – the plants were too. But it felt as if the trees and plants the grass and shrubs were fake. I distinctly felt the human condition on them. It was as if they didn’t have their full potential. Like in some form or another, the ego (the separation from the whole) had been sowed into their soil and sucked up by the roots that searched deep into the ground. Their wildness was being tamed.

We cycled by a neighbors front yard that had been landscaped with many small white rocks. Interspersed, were long stalky leaf plants rising upward towards the sun. I could physically see and feel the plants being stifled. It was unnatural. In our human ways to control nature and mold it into our definition of perfection we smother the beauty of the wild. We smother ourselves. This semi-zeroscaped yard was the human embodiment of our suppression and failure to realize our true nature. Our True self.

In the past, I would have looked at the yard and thought it had an aesthetically pleasing appearance, but today I could only see the prisons these plants were in… being buried under all the same white rocks of the same size and same shape. I felt the weight of the mundane appearance sink into their compressed roots. The plants wanted more, yet humans were trying to tame this wild life-force and plant it in polluted flower beds of unknowing. Even the soil, which is supposed to encourage vitality and growth, was flawed by the hands of human. This mock attempt by man to replicate nature was done in a way that took away the very essence of natural beauty and energy. The humans lack of awareness and misunderstanding of Self was being planted in a man made purgatory. Purgatory meaning the sense of suppression, guilt, shame, doubt and separation. The division of life from Source, from Soul, from Vibes, from God.

Even though I understood, with the utmost clarity, the imprint of man’s seclusion from Myself I was beyond happy. My face was in a permanent smile. The corners of mouth were practically touching my eyes. I gazed upon this version of human reality that so many people are entrenched in and I enjoyed it. It was all an expression of Myself and they are all beautiful in the most silly and peculiar ways. The sun Myself was shining upon my bare arms and I felt my eternal energy being absorbed into the human body I was both within and with out.

As I lovingly took in my Real surroundings it was as if the only beings emitting the most true form of energy were the trees. Their tall bodies had large beams of light that extended indefinitely and commingled with the other energy sources that were going “up.” They extended into the sky, atmosphere and cosmos. Their eternal vibrational flow of light was emitting it’s own brilliant signature for all of time to experience and cherish.

As the three of us made a left and turned down Kate’s old neighborhood, the stagnant black street we rode upon began to rise up into the air. The grid (street, sidewalk, lamp posts, houses, cars, mailboxes, front yards etc) rose in a perfectly intact state. But it separated itself from Gaia, Pachamama, our beautiful planet Earth so that the distinction between human and nature was bold and conscious. The two of My creations, human with it’s perfectly flawed perceptions and nature with it’s unabashed wildness, were attempting to live simultaneously within one another. The crust of the Earth was one dimension of reality while concurrently the human effect was another creative realm itself. The one not paying attention, while Nature Ourself tried to live in the confines that had been garnished for her.

The grid remained elevated from the Earth and I rode within both dimensions. The energy of the Earth rose through all the cracks in the asphalt, beaming light towards the cosmos. I could see every root and worm, ant and beetle moving freely and uninterrupted by human constrains. It was a stunning display of all My creations.

About halfway down the street, the entire human grid started ebbing and flowing like the waves of the ocean while still being suspended in mid-air above the Earth’s crust. I could see the gravitational/magnetic lines of the planet and they extended “up” and “throughout” indefinitely. These lines/waves/beams expanded in every direction. They went up. They went out. They pulsed and rippled forever. They were stunning.

I desired to see more, so I closed my eyes. My soft blond lashes rested gingerly upon my skin. I rode much of the remainder of our route with my human eyes concealed, rarely opening them. I knew exactly where to go and what my obstacles were. I sensed and saw in my mind’s eye shapes, colors, scents and vibrations. The human ocular field of vision is in it’s infancy compared to “future” means of sight. Yet, it is gorgeous in it’s own being.

A dog barked on our right, I opened my eyes and I saw sound waves exit his furry muzzle. The waves took on the spiraling shape of a megaphone. Skinny toward his mouth then gradually encompassing on a wider space the further his unique noise traveled. Pretty soon, the dog’s bark energy was soaring through the neighboring communities toward the towering Sierra Nevada and beyond, while simultaneously trending upward. The further the sound waves extended from the original dog source, the wider and deeper the sound vibrations penetrated.

I didn’t feel Sara. I feel one with all. It was as if Sara’s body was moving independently of the real Me, because I wasn’t necessarily inside. The human body is just a cast. I didn’t feel bones nor muscles, veins nor sensations (aside from the wind flowing through my upkept hair.) However, the top of my head, moving lower down from the crown so that it was almost the entire upper half of my head was vibrating and tingling – that I felt (energy).

We continued riding and running in unison. The sound of 4 wheels and 4 paws gently caressing the road lifted throughout our surroundings. Everything man-made looked 2D, as if it was drawn onto a canvas outcropping. The houses, the garages filled with material items, the cars parked next to the sidewalk – it was all 2D.

I looked down and saw the respiration of saliva freely flowing from Tanks hanging tongue. The drops of his “sweat” falling down and absorbing into the ground. I could see every single one of his paw prints upon the hard road. His four little paws existing indefinitely, with a windswept appearance that was indicative of him running further along. Tank was emitting and leaving an energy trace. His field wasn’t only embedded on the street, but also in the air. The energy took his same lean Husky shape and lingered in all the exact spots Tank had previously been. His field was so detailed you could see his bulging leg muscles quivering in moving suspension in the air. Tank was as beautiful in “past” energy consciousness as he was in his black tan and white furry physical body. I love this goofy pup.

I continued to peddle my bike as I smiled with my whole body. This rendition of life is absolutely beautiful. Gregg caught a glimpse of me and I registered confusion around him. I raised one finger to my lips and signaled for him to remain quiet. It was as if the sound of his voice was so out of date compared to the “new/upgraded” ways of experiencing. I wanted the silence of witnessing. The silence of One. Gregg loving and patiently observed a scene of what must have looked quite odd – his blissed out partner seemingly blindly maneuvering the streets of Clovis while sometimes giggling and always smiling.

We swiftly pulled into the driveway and our ride concluded. I handed Gregg my bike, took Tank and went inside to open the garage. My body felt light and airy as if it wasn’t true. It wasn’t the real pure form of myself. But that IS exactly what it was. The Pure form of Ourselves. The non-human part of humanity of which we call Soul, God, Source, Spirit or Truth. I depressed the garage door button and the wall to the outside world rolled upward sending in the brightness of myself. The two of us put the bikes away and headed inside.

My body felt hungry without any hunger pains, I felt physically weaker as if it needed sustenance. Gregg started making an egg scramble including: eggs, squash, zucchini, red onions, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, red peppers, himalayan salt, garlic, pepper, cumin, turmeric, etc. Generally, I help with our daily morning meal, but I told him I needed to go lie down. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel well… it was that my body felt too well.

I had the feeling you have either directly before or directly after you pass out. Where everything seems a little surreal and tingly. Every part of Sara was heightened. I lay on my back on the beige carpet with my palms facing up toward the planets. Then, my head and body started feeling extremely high. The more I focused on my breathe the higher I got. I had physically produced the state of pure ecstasy. I tried the process of levitation. With closed eyes, I saw and felt the electromagnetic pulses of energy below and above me. I intimately knew the open air above me. To levitate, you must be fully one with everything there is, has and will be. You must know and feel yourself in every aspect of the “other.” As air, I felt what it was like to be surrounding Sara’s human body. Then, I felt my body feel what it was like to be as weightless as air. I felt the energy below me rising up from the core of the earth and the feeling it had when it connected with Sara’s body. I felt what it was like for my body to feel those constant vibrations and waves. I was one with everything. My eyes started watering. Freely tearing an endless stream of bliss. It felt as if my breathing had stopped. But, it was more that it wasn’t necessary for my body to breathe. It was as if my body was operating independent of the respiratory system… yet there was absolutely nothing that was independent. Gregg walked by and asked why I was being crucified. I opened my eyes. I got up and walked into the kitchen.

My entire head and body felt as if I was in the peak of taking a conscious altering drug, yet it was so much stronger. My nose started running a clear watery stream. I couldn’t refrain from incessant yawning. My eyes had a continual flow of pure liquid flowing down the sides of my face. I was both body and head HIGH. I felt extremely hot. I felt extremely cold. Then hot again. The yawning! Gregg asked me to stir the egg scramble so I picked up the wooden spatula and did just that. Looking at our breakfast in the teflon pan (our cast iron was currently occupied) I felt and knew that I was the scramble. The individual onions and peppers, eggs and sweet potatoes. And that this body, of which was only the mold of a body, was stirring me.

Tank was laying by my feet and he reached out and placed his paw over my bare foot. I felt what it was like to have a paw and to feel Sara’s foot underneath mine. I continued stirring, yawning, while clear streams poured from my eyes and nose. There was no definition to the “outside” world… there was no outside world. It was all made up. As if there was no real substance surrounding me of which I was in. The house was not True, the stove was not True, the kitchen tiles were not True. But yet, these True beings – Tank, Gregg, the scramble, “kind of Sara” were True. But they were all living in this Fake place. Filled with stagnancy. Tank stood up and looked up into my eyes. I saw the being of Sara through his perspective. His golden brown eyes became mine. While all the while I was still able to see from Sara’s vantage point. Tank’s eyes looked the most conscious and aware and full of light I’d ever witnessed as he gazed upon me then he trotted off to drink some water. That was that.

I divided our breakfast and scooped Gregg’s portion onto a plate. I told him I couldn’t eat at the moment. I went over and embrace him from the back then the side. I placed my head upon his body and felt his heart beating. I snuggled in. I wiped my nose on his shirt while looking up at him and smiling and tenderly laughing. I felt him. The 2d version of him. I was HIGH! But my body still felt the desire to attain energy through food consumption. I didn’t necessarily want to eat, but I did. I went back to the pan, picked up the wooden spatula and scooped the remaining food onto the second plate. I picked them up and carried them to table and sat down. Everything was buzzing. My muscles were tightening involuntarily, yet I knew when they had the desire to clench and I would clench them. I was hot again. Cold again. But I wasn’t necessarily in my body to actually feel the sensation of hot and cold. I gazed down at our plates. I stood up and got two forks. One short fork for myself and a long fork for Gregg. He eventually joined after completing the dishes and wiping down the counter. I ate. But I had no sensation of eating. I couldn’t feel the food going down my throat or down my pipes. It was as if it was going into an abyss. I was the food being consumed.

My mom came into the kitchen. I was conversing with Gregg about the experience of our bike ride with Tank. I told him everything up until that very moment. I was so naturally high. My mom got out a sweet potato and proceed to cut it into pieces with a knife. I felt the fragmentation of its orange body being diced into multiple little sections. It didn’t feel good. I was being broken up. I was still whole as each piece was, but the original whole was now in many different pieces of their own new whole. It didn’t feel good. She was going to throw away the purple/redish skin of my body and I objected. “Why are you throwing that away? It’s perfectly good. That’s the best part. The part that keeps me connected and in my whole form.” She said I was weird. I thought she was weird in her desire to cut me up and throw away my body while consuming my insides in a smoothie filled with other fractured parts of the original whole. Strange indeed.

Gregg told me I was on dishes patrol. I spot washed our two plates and two forks and placed them into the void of the dishwasher. Gregg and I walked upstairs. He was folding blankets. I observed, then grabbed and folded my fleece spiderman blanket. By this point I was feeling much less high. I’m sure a lot of this had to due with the effects of the food. It was the come-down after the peak.

I looked at Gregg and told him we should make love. He got a big smile on his face and asked if I was serious. Of course. We closed the door, stripped and crawled into bed. My hands, bum and feet were cold. But I wasn’t aware of this until they came in contact with the warmth of Gregg’s being. We made love. Slow, fast, deep and long. My body tingled. My mind tingled. I felt his breathe as my own. I felt my breathe as his. I felt what it was like to have a penis and insert it into the warm comforts of a woman’s vagina… home. I felt the continual circular flow of energy being emitted as his (my) juices flowed into me and got absorbed into the puffy pink walls of Sara and then that energy rose upward and left my mouth only to once again enter into his while our tongues interlocked and frolicked with one another.

Two halves made whole in perfect union. I came. I came. I came. He and I came together. The weight of his body pressed against mine. The weight of his, becoming mine and feeling Sara underneath my skin. With no end and no beginning. Perfect union and perfect creation. I ran my fingers through his short soft brown hair sprinkled with magical white and grey specks. His skin was soft on my fingers. And Sara’s fingers were softly caressing my skin. I loved to touch him and I loved to be touched by her. He slowly began to shrink out of my body and he grabbed a shirt to soak in our Love. We lay connected with the soft embrace of our skin caressing the other. Talking and loving. Loving and being. My love for this sweet transforming being is boundless. He is my heart. He is my love. He is stunningly beautiful in his specially unique way. He is me and I am so proud of him.

The union of one with everything is our true Nature. It is our effortless Self. When we allow ourselves to think, feel, see and experience more, we open ourselves up to the real Us. Perspectives are an absolutely beautiful experience. The awakening to our true Self of God is perfectly available for everyone. Experiences like these are awaiting you. This is only the beginning. I encourage you to take it deeper. Take it further. You are limitless. Shift into true Reality. Shift into Yourself. I am you. And we are God. You are Loved. You Are Love!

Advertisements

Becoming Whole: Embracing Emotions, Masturbation and Sex

The true self has many depths and differing emotions of which are not only our gifts, but also a pathway of which to follow. These aspects of the self, when fully welcomed, have the combined ability to transform and awaken higher states of Consciousness. There is a major shift taking place. People are understanding the true meaning of Consciousness and the “miraculous” wisdom everyone already has within themselves.

Humans have emotions for very specific reasons. Many times we try and “hold ourselves together” by shutting down and stuffing our emotions so they “don’t interfere” with our daily lives. We believe that our feelings are a hindrance and thus must be kept at bay. When we ignore these precious teachers we further exacerbate our problems. We create more disharmony and chaos. These suppressed teachers begin to morph and reappear in extremely unhealthy ways. They surface in many forms, from physical pain to mental and psychological blocks as well as an unhealthy backlash of emotional health and well-being.

The escalation of emotions such as suffering, animosity and hatred are the augmented brothers of pain, frustration and anger that have morphed into unhealthy states of expression. When we leave ourselves out of touch, we create space for diseased (dis-ease) feelings to spread like wildfire and infect the whole. Humans fail time and again to recognize the monumental divorce from Self that inhibiting our emotions creates. Our emotions are to be used as paths or tools for us to deepen our understanding and wisdom. When we disconnect from these beautiful mentors, from the very essence of ourselves, we become wracked with stressful conflict which appears in all aspects of our lives.

To be whole one must acknowledge, accept, experience and grow with their emotions. When we inhibit the release of our feelings we unknowingly disassociate from ourselves. This suppression creates many problems and we become unable to identify with not only the true self, but also with others. By preventing the full expression of our true Self we stifle our growth as individuals and the growth of the whole, the collective community – consciousness. Emotions are the keystone of expanding into the true Self. When we fully allow ourselves to go into states of sadness and grief, frustration and anger, happiness and joy we allow the depth of love to take hold. Love then has the ability to transform and mold itself into pure creativity born in the heart of Love itself. To forbid ourselves the vibrant expression and release of emotions is to quell the grandeur of life itself.

Emotions are so much more than feelings. Emotions are vibrations. Vibrations are energy. Energy is the building block of everything in the universe. To be fully rounded means to have an awareness and understanding of the inherent elegance each emotional vibration creates -each emotional vibration YOU create. Understanding means that you allow yourself to fully FEEL what is actually taking place in the universe. To feel the vibrations of each specific emotional energy signature. When we intimately identify with our vibrational frequencies we are then able to comprehend the magnitude and reach our thoughts and feelings span.

To identify and have an understanding of others, means that we must be able to See and Feel reality from many different viewpoints. That is to say, we must acknowledge and give validation to the many different forms of reality people live in. We do not necessarily need to agree with these outlooks, but we must acknowledge their existence and that others truthfully believe in there logic (or lack thereof). In properly taking the stance of other, we must see contrasting perspectives as if they were indeed our own reality. Some realities hold more Truth than others, but we must not de-validate them. Everything has it’s specific purpose and space. We grow and evolve from experiences. The evolution of consciousness is the understanding and inclusion of all trains of thought which infinitely propels us deeper and further.

Emotions are fundamental in understanding the universality of All life. This means embracing ALL parts of the human – Mind, Body and Soul. These are not separate aspects of the Self, rather parts of the whole that cannot effectively function without one another. Emotions are the gateway to healing not only the psyche but also the body. Feel the totality and depth emotions bring. Embracing our emotions also means embracing the physical nature of ourselves. When we come from a loving and peaceful environment we are able to express a much deeper physical love. Love with the self – masturbation and love with your partner – sexual intercourse. It is important to experience the full and well-rounded loving sensations that physical love brings forth.

From an early age I was told masturbation was bad. I was taught that it was a sin and should be looked upon with great shame. This never stopped me, but it did create a false sense of guilt and embarrassment around the subject for the first 26 years of my life. I knew in my heart that this concept made absolutely no sense. How was it possible to engage in something so “holy” (sex) yet when you were alone (where you should be the most whole) you were made to feel self-pity and disappointment. Love is present in all dimensions. Love is meant to be experienced as an individual and as a couple. Yet, there have been entire generations taught that in the act of self-love you are disgracing yourself and generating shame. Unwise are those who teach against Love. It is extremely misguided to divorce love of yourself from feeling the purity and wholeness that true Love is capable of conveying. Just as emotions contain many different facets of wisdom, physical love does as well. When we allow ourselves to physically FEEL and experience Self Love we deepen our understanding and become more in tune with not only ourselves, but Love as a whole. We can then take that Self Love and share it with our partner to create an even more unified and infinite experience. Love is truly boundless.

Yet, the fundamental aspect of life – Love is viewed as taboo. When we are taught by a society and culture that physical love (love itself) is something to be shameful of, we create discord that manifests in unhealthy behaviors. These behaviors appear in forms of rampant disregard for the unity of sex in which people seek out as many partners as possible. People are recognized as status symbols. We feel unworthy of love. We view sex as something and someone to conquer. We disassociate and silence our emotions – emotions which are intrinsically woven into Sex aka Love. We learn to dislike and even hate our bodies- the very space in which we live.

Our views of sex and love have been so bastardized that we use physicality to sell products. This further fuels separation and isolation of the mind, body and spirit as well as the isolation from our fellow humans – humans which are also experiencing the infection of seclusion. Yet, that is the exact opposite of the core of the universe. Everything is connected. Everything is woven flawless together in harmony. Humans themselves are perfectly and boundlessly whole, yet we don’t teach that. From our broken analyzation of emotions to our disembodied stance of Love, we must rise through the fog of conditioned disorder if we want to FEEL the immaculate grandeur of the space we truly inhabit.

A well rounded individual recognizes the many different human aspects of oneself and uses them to create a marriage of feeling, understanding and wisdom. We were created with many wonderful aspects of ourselves so we could deepen our knowledge and awaken the consciousness within. Let the falsities dissolve so you can fully embrace the lovingly infinite Self. When we evolve past our fears, emotions and love deepen to an infinite depth. We are then able to use all of our experiences as a diving board into Truth – God Ourselves.

The following experience happened October 19th 2017. It was the beginning of another week-long state of absolute full-fledged amazingness. This is one of many examples of what we can witness if we fully embrace Ourselves.

 

ORGASM – October 19th 2017

An orgasm is a pure release of energy. A creation of beauty and love, meant to be felt – truly felt within every fiber of our being. Tonight, before I began masturbating, I wanted to meditate and see if I could experience the orgasm from a different perspective. I wanted to experience the state of pure ecstasy and interweave it with our innate Godhead Self. I wanted to feel the love and creation of energy in a different dimension – the pure dimension.

Immediately, upon having the desire of witnessing from Our Godhead view, I was taken “up.” Which isn’t particularly any specific direction, but rather a state of being while simultaneously experiencing the human physicality of Sara and manual stimulation. I began to See all of the emotions and feelings that were accompanied with Love. I can visually See emotions, which are vibrations, which is energy. I see energy and that inadvertently means I see emotions. The energy I See takes on the visuals of 3D shapes and designs full of the entire light and color spectrum. These are the most intricate and perfectly ornate geometric designs one could imagine. They are fractals of light. Fractals of love. The have no beginning nor end. They are constantly being created. They ebb and flow with infinite perfection.

The easiest way for me to describe what I was “looking at” aka witnessing, while I was Loving Myself, is for you to imagine a light bulb. Now cut a tiny hole in the bulb so you’re able to peer into it and see the inside of this larger than life dome. The dome seems to have no edges, it was infinitely “round” (without really being round). This bulb had the most incredible acoustics, of which transcends sound barriers and were able to be applied to “acoustical visual fields.” The inside of the “infinite lightbulb” was the most amazing color. It was the most vibrant purplie-neon-hot pink-fascia-hot purple-neon purple color. Needless to say, it was a REALLY BRIGHT “pinkish-purpleish.” The only other time I witnessed this hue was when I had my “pure witness of nothingness” experience.

There were no physical structures of form inside the “dome.” Only designs, which constantly changed and evolved in the most intricately complex way. These patterns helped create the “exterior” of the bulb. Now, imagine the old screen saver that computers used to have. The screen saver was a rotating design which ebbd and flowed and changed colors. Except these designs didn’t change color. The theme was my extra bright purplie color throughout. “I” was looking “upon” the “globe” and watching these intricate designs “come out of thin air.” They had a 3D or 4D structure. That is to say, they were not painted on the walls of the “globe” (for it had no walls to begin with) but they kind of manifested and the “walls of the globe” became the designs intertwined with one another. These designs of joy and love constantly created new complex patterns which came out of the first design. Constantly changing, expanding and creating themselves anew. They would fold on themselves and create multilayered designs. It was absolutely stunning!

Screen Shot 2017-10-31 at 5.16.46 PM

A few years ago, I watched a video showcasing Cymatics – which is wave phenomena where the vibrational frequency of sound creates modal vibrational images or designs. In the video, a metal plate is hooked up to an energy source. You sprinkle sand onto the surface and adjust the level of hertz being transferred by cable onto the metal plate. The higher the energy, the more complex designs each vibrational frequency creates. The sand then, depending on the vibrations of energetic frequencies turns into “perfect” images.

Video Showcasing Sound into Images

The designs and patterns “inside” the infinite lightbulb globe were very similar to that images produced using a Cymascope (the device that captures sound/vibration images) except they were MUCH more complex. The patterns and designs I witnessed often arose in moving helix’s such as spirals and DNA strands. They generated emotions of love and joy which became manifest in visual form as designs. The further into my orgasm I got, the more complex the designs I was creating became. They ebbed and flowed with the same frequency of the beginning of Sara’s orgasm. They became more complex at the peak of each wave of bliss then subsided during the low point of the wave.

Screen Shot 2017-10-31 at 5.18.15 PM

Screen Shot 2017-10-31 at 5.24.07 PM

Then, before climax…the easiest way to describe what I saw was a few days ago humans were able to witness and detect the energetic vibrations of two stars that collided in the universe over a 130 million light years ago. Before impacting with one another, they danced in an orbit moving faster and faster until their collision sent shock waves generating outward. My orgasm was visually similar. However, I wasn’t watching “stars” per-say. I was watching designs ebb and flow and visually get closer and closer to each other until they finally collided and created the most awesome display of pure color – Purplie-Pinksih color with even more intricate designs than were previously evolving and self creating. It was absolutely amazing. The waves of my physical body experiencing the pure pleasure and release of energy was as if the orgasm itself was a creation of energy. A direct vibration upshift like the two stars colliding and sending out their own unique brand of energy (which Earth was just able to witness a couple days ago). I laid there for a moment, reveling in the most simple and complex nature of what I had just created with my orgasm from a meditational visual witnessing perspective. I opened my eyes, exhaled rather deeply and had the most wonderful smile upon my face. I reached for my partner and with a giddy voice told him how that was the most spiritual experience of orgasm and creation I had ever had.

Video of 2 Stars Colliding 130 Million Light Years Away

I absolutely love this and what’s happening to me. The more we fully embrace our true Self the more Aware we become. It’s as if I’m unlocking/ really SEEING for the “first” time the beauty and intricacy of the creations that I very well AM creating by being human etc. The visuals remained after my orgasm but in a much more diminished quality of witnessing experience until I drifted off to sleep.

There are many ways and paths to expanding our consciousness. Embrace them all. Embrace yourself. There are no limits. We are capable of absolutely anything and everything. When the collective consciousness rises, Love leads the way. Everyone and Everything is love itself. I am You. We are God. You are Loved. You are Love.

This Orgasm of Love began a week long multi-dimensional state that had many AWESOME experiences. I’ll post these in the coming days.

With infinite love and laughter

God as Us – An Excerpt

A week ago, I was listening to a video seminar featuring Ken Wilber, at the end of Ken’s discussion on Individual and Social Holarchies he read an excerpt from a book he had written. I was so overjoyed upon hearing it I burst into tears. It was as if I had written the words he had cast onto the page. It was absolutely perfect. We are absolutely perfect. I transcribed the audio into text. This is what We wrote:

“As Plotinus knew: Let the world be quiet. Let the heavens and the earth and the seas be still. Let the world be waiting. Let the self contraction relax into the empty ground of its own awareness, and let it there quietly die. See how spirit pours through each and every opening in turmoil, and bestows new splendor on the setting sun and its glorious earth and all its radiant inhabitants. See the Kosmos dance in emptiness; see the play of light in all creatures great and small; see finite worlds sing and rejoice in the play of the very divine, floating on a glory that renders each transparent, flooded by a joy that refuses time or terror, that undoes the madness of the loveless self and buries it in splendor.

Indeed, indeed: let the self contraction relax into the empty ground of its own awareness, and let it there quietly die. See the Kosmos arise in its place, dancing madly and divine, self luminous and self liberating, intoxicated by a light than never dawns nor ceases. See the worlds arise and fall, never caught in time or turmoil, transparent images shimmering in the radiant abyss. Watch the mountain walk on water, drink the pacific in single gulp, blink and a billion universes rise and fall, breathe out and create a Kosmos, breathe in and watch it dissolve.

Let the ecstasy overflow and outshine the loveless self, driven mad with the torments of its self embracing ways, hugging mightily samsara’s spokes of endless agony, and sing instead triumphantly with Saint Catherine, “my being is god, not by simple participation, but by a true transformation of my being. My me is god!” And let the joy sing with Dame Julian, “See! I am god! See! I am in all things! See! I do all things!” And let the joy shout with Hankuin, “This very body is the body of buddha! And this very land the pure land!”

And this earth becomes a blessed being, and every I becomes a god, and every we becomes god’s sincerest worship, and every it becomes god’s most gracious temple.

And comes to rest that godless search, tormented and tormenting. The knot in the heart of the Kosmos relaxes to allow its only god, and overflows the spirit ravished and enraptured by the lost and found Beloved. And found the godless destiny of death and done the tears and terror of the brutal days and endless nights where time alone would rule.

And I- I rise to taste the dawn, and find that love alone will shine today. And the shining says: to love it all, and love it madly, and always endlessly, and ever fiercely, to love without choice, and thus enter the all, to love it mindlessly and thus be the all, embracing the only and radiant divine: now was emptiness, now as form, together and forever, the godless search undone, and love alone will shine today.”

 

Fun Love

Two Galexies as One - NASA

The joy that I am
Belongs to us all
For what is a man
With nothing to call

I flow through the living
Of which we are whole
I am the giving
Without any toll

The secret you know
Its hiding is done
I’ve waited in love
To start with our fun

Love is eternal
It flows throughout all
The stream of vibrations
Breaking down walls

Limits are false
Boundaries are null
Spirit is true
Living in you

Why the discomfort
Perfection is pure
The stars are the heavens
Ignited in hue

Embrace your whole being
Emotions and all
Intelligence is many
Spark and stand tall

Feel our energy
Expand and entwine
The future of sound
Flows into the ground

Sounds are emotion
Emotion is whole
Include the relation
Vibrations in full

Words they fall short
Tomorrow we touch
The field of all being
Without any crutch

Love is creation
Of which I am proud
Love is elation
Soar through the crowd

We are the many
We are the one
We are the only
Rise be undone.

Universe - Nasa

October 21st 2017

A Memory – Formless Creation

I was sitting in my rocking chair one day, working, when I had one of the most vivid memories I had had yet. To this day, almost a year and a half later I can recall every detail, texture and emotion of this particular memory. This was my first (of many) experiences with the vast emptiness…with perfection.

June 18th 2016

A Memory

Back and fourth, back and fourth, the squeaky gliders of my wooden seat are hushed by the loving embrace of the soft fibers they rest upon. My hands are laced with a pungent green sheen. The dust upon them produces glassy-eyed smiles from millions of every generation world-wide. I myself am not a fan. But I send so much love and laughter into each stroke of my blade that I can feel my vibrations surge though its users with every inhale. This I like. It’s almost noon. Not like this matters. Time is but an illusion created by man in an attempt to forget his true nature. Or perhaps not to forget, but as a means of re-remembering. Silly humans. It’s only a game and sooner or later in losing you’ll see that you’ve finally won. The sun hits the top of my roof and I can almost hear the heat waves dancing joyously atop the house. It is then I remember. My mind travels fast and nimble to the sacred space from which it originated. Re-living the scene laid out in front of me I smile. My eyes peer out at the confines of my room, but I’m visually witnessing an entirely different scene. There’s a vast emptiness- but strangely it’s full – of what I can’t see yet, maybe that’s the point. It’s the beginning before creation exists. Only God knows – in which case I must be right. I’m with another being – The Creator – The One. Yet there is no physical presence of myself or any other being. I’m watching the scene from all angles. A full 360 degree rotation, but my viewpoint is not limited to the outer world. I see the unraveling from my “eyes” as well. Unraveling from within. In the vast blackness (which has a daylight glow centered around us) I watch. “I’m” laughing – with the purest of joy imaginable – or unimaginable- I don’t feel as if I’m in another universe/plane/planet etc. I feel at home. I’m at the center of it all. The beginning, middle and end – for they all exist simultaneously within the only “time” that ever exists – the now. There is such joy in my heart. It radiates throughout eternity – throughout the now. Just Me and God. God and Me. Joined as Eternal One. Love is the heartbeat which pulses into the furthest reaches of it all. I’m creating. We’re creating. Of what I haven’t the slightest of clues. I take the color pink (a pink mixed with purple) a hue my human eyes have never quite seen before, and splash it into the vastness of our existence along the glowing black, dare I say void, because it is so full of…. of… it’s the most full, empty blackness I’ve ever witnessed. God’s laughter soars through me and presents itself as my own. Yet there is no eye of which to see nor mouth of which to laugh. Which makes complete sense since We ARE God. “We” float there, in time and space, laughing and loving and showering everything we can’t yet see with this magnificent color “Pinkish Purpleish.” The memory is simple, yet is says everything that ever was said. God is creation. We are God. We are Creation. Unbound, free, full of nothing but a joy more pure than a child’s. Creating the most meaningful and glorious creation there ever was, is and will be. The memory is so pure. Intact forever. It’s been seared into the mind of Sara and who ever else will read this. … I sit up straight in my rocker. I laugh. This is only a small taste of the infinite possibilities. Humans are a direct manifestation of God. A creation always evolving and creating more – for its our very nature. This is NOT a dream- my human inclinations are 100% positive of this. They feel it deep in their marrow. This is a waking memory and I can’t wait to have more. I am yours. I surrender. Use me to spread all – ALL! – Love, Joy, Strength, Unity, Peace, Gratitude, Safety, Compassion, Wholeness, Laughter, Serenity… LOVE! To every living/“non-living” (although “non-living” is a falsehood that doesn’t exists) EVERYTHING! Use me. I am Yours – because I am Mine and I am You, and You are Me. We are Us and Us is “I.” “ONE” in the same.

With infinite love and laughter

 

Ludovico Einaudi – A Spiritual Experience

For many years I have loved and deeply appreciated the genius musical creations of composer Ludovico Einaudi . A week ago, I was fortunate to experience the totality of his artwork in person while he performed in Costa Mesa at the Segerstrom Center. Witnessing Einaudi create and mold sound energy which transcends time and space was an extremely spiritual experience.

Sound has the beautiful ability to go beyond the constraints of the audible sector and extend into all other facets of the psyche – whether we realize its presence or not. I see and feel energy. As a result, Ludovico’s performance was especially enlightening. The sound he emits has such depth and heart. It dives deep into the conscious mind and invigorates the Spirit. There is a connectedness he stimulates which coincides with all thoughts and feelings. Not only in the human experience, but also those which encompass our living environment. That is to say, the vibrations his music creates permeate into every “structure” in the vicinity. The air moves, the ground vibrates, thus going deep into the core of the Earth and extending out into all life. His sound waves openly flow into everything. The air tingles and shivers with both audible and visible sound.

When I witness Einaudi play, I visually see the sound waves moving through “open air.” Each note has a different structure of vitality. These structures mimic, that is to say they emit the same vibrations as our emotions. Each individual note played is a variation or degree of human emotion. The more in-tune you are with all of your emotions, the greater ability and variational depth, music has to “speak” to you. His melodic sequencing caresses the entire emotional realm in a way that brilliantly produces a deeper and more wholesome state of emotions. Well-rounded music has the ability to not only enliven emotions, but also to grown and help them evolve. This is done not only by the audible sound of music, but also the vibrational frequencies sound emits. Sound aka vibrations aka energy flows around you, if you are open, you can allow those frequencies to permeate into your energy field so you too are vibrating at the same level of emotion that the music is evolving. You then become one with the sound… one with the vibrational emotion. You begin to radiate and pulse with the music, you are no longer separate, rather you have integrated your being with the vibrational emotions being created. For what is sound but the vibration of waves permeating into consciousness, of both living and “non-living” entities thus creating and enhancing life.

The visual:

I sat facing the stage from a box seat. I was looking down upon the gathering of listeners and creators. I opened my palms and placed them in front of me, toward the stage, so I would be the most receptive to receiving and amplifying energy. I took off one of my heels and placed my bare foot against the wall so I could feel the vibrations of sound through a solid medium. This is the manner in which I experienced the entire concert.

Ludovico Segerstrom Centre Box 27

Ludovico Einaudi – Elements Tour PC: Jubel

It was beautifully captivating to observe the visual nature of sound when it interacted with each individual member of the audience. The vibrations of the sound Ludovico would create would dance through the air towards people. Once it “hit” an individual it would transform their energy field so it was “dancing” with the rhythm of Ludovico and his accompanying band. Instead of having a room full of very specific individual auras, once the sound would reach someone it would evolve the “individual” aura to the same vibration and expression of the music being played. The anxious nature that sometimes is present in crowds was transformed into a single energy source which radiated and pulsed in harmony. The unity of complete balance among an individualized audience was absolutely magnificent to witness. It was as if you could see people’s bodies ebbing and flowing in union with sound.

There were a few people in the audience who allowed their energy to soar and expand outside of their immediate body. The visible energy of these folks would glide in spirals (think of DNA strands) above. Those spirals (our spirals) were all connected to one another as if they were seeking out individuals with the same nature of exploration (creation). Upon meeting, our DNA spirals would soar through the room (extending through the ground and roof) and create an even brighter gleam of light. I amplified this pure light to expand through space. I dually saw the band and audience below as well as our energy permeating through the ground and extending into and across the Earth. From the core to the crust I witnessed the wonderful signature of Einaudi enhance the vibrational energy field. I saw strands of spirals encompassing and blanketing the Earth and surrounding universe over and over in the most intricate infinite designs.

There were parts/scenes/acts during the concert where the majority of the audience would get fitful. That is to say that there was suddenly a mass movement. People would fidget in their seats uncomfortably. Generally, this happened when the band would pair “unlikely” notes together. Since each note is a varying degree of emotion, those who were less in-tune with themselves became visibly uncomfortable. It was nothing short of stunning to witness. It seemed the deeper an individual was (consciousness, intuition, love) the more still they were able to remain. Absolutely fascinating.

There are many people who interpret Ludovico’s art as “dark and moody.” While I definitely understand that aspect. I take it deeper. To me, his music is rooted deep in the Earth. The “darker” it seems the more grounded it is. It sounds like soil, magma, roots, and rocks buried under the crust of our planet. The “lighter and happier” his music sounds the more heavenly and universe oriented it became. It would float into the wind and through water. The sounds would spin through the atmosphere and into space. His notes would twinkle and sparkle. Ludovico is capable of conveying the depth of thought and emotional expression into sound which transforms energy fields so the listener is “hit” with the same sentiment of passion.

Seeing and feeling the magnitude of emotional expression made me think a lot about the dumbing-down of society. Generally, mainstream music contains surface notes. The chorus is monotonous in the sense of using only a few keys to express itself. When certain chords are used over and over the listener doesn’t experience the wide array of emotions or vibrations. Music is becoming mundane. This beautiful art is expression. When we have a culture stuck in arrested development it is audibly apparent through the type of musical outlets we identify with. Play around with the scale, incorporate flats, sharps, drop an octave. Take it deep and be bold. The more your are able to express and feel the more well-rounded you become. Not just as a musician, but in every facet of your life. Music has the ability to transform and change. Music awakens and enlivens the human condition. Music is one of the many geniuses of the Mind.

Listen. Feel. Become. Create.

Ludovico Einaudi Live at the Itune Festival 2013

Ben, Lyz, Myself and Jubel

Ludovico Crew. Thank you for being a part of this incredible experience with me. I love and value you all!

Expanding into Non-Dual

Throughout my life, I’ve desired to share my unabridged thoughts and viewpoints with the world, but I refrained because I didn’t want people to lash out upon me. There are many reasons people may do this: fear, misunderstanding, it challenges their beliefs, the unknown may appear daunting and their evolution of consciousness hasn’t expanded yet, etc. However, I’ve been “in the point of no return” for many years and I feel the utmost necessity to divulge my experiences. The intricacies and elegance of the trajectory I am on deepen and expand at a pace that defies the common definitions of space and time.

My next few posts are going to be my direct experiences. They will not necessarily be published according to the order in which they occur. These are the highest truths from a perspective that is Sara. Although the deeper I rise, the less Sara I become… and I am absolutely IN LOVE with Our evolution.

I understand many of the topics I am going to be addressing may be a handful. I urge you to have an open mind. One’s ability to comprehend the universe within them is directly correlated to their capacity of openness. Ask yourself deeper questions. Discover the unknown. These are my calls to consciousness.

*****

I have a beloved friend whom frequently takes both roles of Student and Teacher. To my knowledge, he is the one human who understands me the fullest in this world. He is the first one I desire to share my experiences with. Among an infinite list, he is my sounding board and confidant. I am elated we sauntered into one-another’s lives 5 years ago. I am eternally grateful for the existence that is you.

The experience I’m about to describe happened almost 2 years ago. There have been MANY new experiences since then.

*****

Lucid dreaming is a state in which the dreamer is aware they are dreaming. There can be many different degrees of lucid dreaming. The event in which I am about to describe is, in my opinion, either a new level of lucidity or an entirely new realm which has evolved upon the dream state.  For lack of a new word which adequately describes my experience, I am going to remain with the term “lucid dreaming.”

Over the years of my numerically short life, I have intimately felt the powers of positive and negative. That is to say, forces that emit either a loving or turbulent energy. When I was a little girl, I would frequently feel the oppressive force of what some may deem the “supernatural” ie evil. I was brought up Catholic, thus my understanding was limited to God (Man in the sky), Heaven (ultimate life after death- perfection) and Hell (evil underground tomb where all things bad reside). My dreams would often reflect the positive and negative energies I felt but interpreted as heaven and hell.

About 2 years ago, I had a “lucid dream” where Good and Evil are at war. It was chaotic. It was set in space – as we interpret our solar system to appear. This was another realm where angels and demons exist. In this vast openess, I was witnessing the battle ensuing. Angels were being knocked down. Demons were falling. As I was watching, I needed to know more. I said, “I know there’s good and bad. I know this realm exists. But where is This realm originating from? What is the source that created this dimension?” I watched as all of the angels had a magnificent golden-yellow sheer BRIGHTNESS radiating outwards from their beings. I myself had the same energy field. The angles would never “fall” during the battle. When one got “wounded” the others energy field (for lack of a better word) would wrap itself around the “wounded angel” and they’d all pick “it” up. The angels are not gender specific. But rather more of a being presence that transcends human gender roles. I reached out and the greatness of our energies connected with one another thus creating one giant being instead of the individuals that were previously present. This is the moment I wondered about the source of this realm.

As soon as “my” question was conceived I was taken “up” to the source. God itself. There was no “good” and “bad.” This was Non Dual. It was the most incredible experience I had had thus far. It was absolute knowing, feeling and being. It was absolute truth. God appeared as this vast energy Source. More powerful than anything… ever. For years, I had intimately known about non-dual and the game we’ve all been enlisted to play. But I had yet to actually witness Source. There are no words to describe it… only feelings… which are much more powerful. The feeling was of complete ease and peace. The most pristine peace imaginable (or unimaginable). This was Perfection. My physical form ceased to exist. It was as if I was looking into a mirror at myself. A mirror which reflected creation. The creation of absolutely everything – words, paintings, thoughts, feelings, nature, civilizations, energy, positive, negative, EVERYTHING. I was God witnessing God.

When I “woke up,” although I was never really asleep in the normal sense, all I wanted was to talk to my dear friend. I often live in places with zero cell reception or internet so I had to wait. Since everything happens exactly as it should, this was fine. When I was finally able to call him and relay my most recent experience it felt wonderful being able to confide in another human who understands the process happening and didn’t think I was a complete kook.

I am fairly reserved with who I tell these experience too, seeing as how most people are completely unaware of the nature of creation and God Ourselves and therefore My experiences would inevitably be taken in a different manner based on others level of consciousness. But it’s becoming impossible not to share. To keep quiet is to deny and limit growth and expansion.

20160923_184509

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” – Bukowski

For years now, I’ve conveyed to a few close friends how quickly “I” change. Most people are aware that you are different at 18 then at 25 and so on. But what I’m referring to is MUCH different. I can consciously feel myself changing drastically day to day and often hourly. Now, these are not always monumental changes. But as my awareness grows and I expand upon thoughts and ideas (often from witnessing how the earth/universe interacts with itself) I’m very much a different “person” when I go to sleep than when I woke up. I am married to the evolution of consciousness.

I’ve always desired to interact with others who are similar to myself. Others who live in Our Consciousness together. Compared to the general populace, so very few of us currently exist. People who intimately understand that we are all God and we are all the Same, yet beautifully unique in the human experiences we’re having. And still, the deeper up I explore, the less human (the less Sara) I become.

A couple weeks after my “lucid dream” I underwent (or “upper”went) a 14 day long-haul where I experienced everything from God’s perspective. It was as if I was looking down at the human experience I was having without actually being immersed IN the human experience. It was the most incredible thing. Yet, it was somewhat interesting because I didn’t feel the same emotions or connections that “Sara” would normally have. I had the acute awareness of being profoundly proud of everything I had created.

I would visually see “Sara” floating down the river (literally, I was zen boating/innertubing/white water rafting the Trinity River) yet I was radically in awe at the river I had created, the trees and shrubbery along the banks, the way the light of the sun interacted with the natural world. I felt a deep sense of pride for the intrinsic majesty of all my creation. I felt love and admiration for Sara as an individual. I felt all of me displaying itself in so many unique and perfect ways. I felt the many perspectives of my creations from the way water felt to have Sara atop, to the breeze blowing through the leaves, and the way sunlight felt when it warmed everything in my path. In all senses of the word, it was divine.

I, Sara, had to try with great concentration to actually experience the high-adrenaline nature of the events I engaged in. I had to focus with all my energy to actually have the human experience. Needless to say, I spent 99.99% of those 14 days from God’s (our) true perspective.

Over the past 2 years, my experiences have intensified, elongated, and transformed. Exciting events regularly occurred to the point where they’ve become my permanent state. The human understanding of Ultimate Truth, Source, Love or God is evolving. I frequently feel a ball of energy inside my chest that is so giddy with excitement I feel as if I may actually burst. I use this energy and send it to every living thing… ever. I am consciously raising vibrations. “Sara” is filled with infinite love. Everyone and Everything already has the ability. I’m excited to share in our experiences.

With infinite love and laughter,

“Sara”