The following is a continuation of my Godhead experiences during the month of October. It is best to read sequentially starting with the beginning of this experience: Becoming Whole: Embracing Emotions, Masturbation and Sex, then Taking the Stance of Other: Wind, Love, Vibrations and Food.
October 22nd 2017
…The following morning, my partner Gregg and I awoke and took my lovable energetic Husky, Tank for a bike ride. Upon opening the door and stepping outside my senses were ignited. The beauty of the Universe was illuminating everything with the brightest luminosity and saturation I had ever witnessed, yet lacking in definition. Some may compare the brilliance I was witnessing to the effects that transpire when engaged with consciousness altering states. Yet, the sheer clarity and vibrancy of our world was an infinite amount more in-depth than that of the effects breath work, meditation or consumables may have.
The physical world I was engaging with felt fake, as if I was stepping into a 2D realm. I could see the energy of the entire world and cosmos with the most clarity and abundance I’ve had yet. The true nature of our world, being looked at with the infinite eyes of God Ourselves. The world around me had a certain amount of flatness – meaning nothing popped out as it does with 3 dimensional things. The depth of physical world ceased to be a thing. It was as if I was surrounded by flat surfaces. It was captivatingly beautiful.
Gregg and I hopped onto our bikes and the two of us began peddling down the asphalt streets with Tank bounding happily alongside – a routine we’re all familiar with. As my legs pushed the stiff pedals of my bike I felt myself generating wind. The wind became stronger and more pronounced with each down stroke of my sandaled foot. The trees we rode past were glowing with Light – the plants were too. But it felt as if the trees and plants the grass and shrubs were fake. I distinctly felt the human condition on them. It was as if they didn’t have their full potential. Like in some form or another, the ego (the separation from the whole) had been sowed into their soil and sucked up by the roots that searched deep into the ground. Their wildness was being tamed.
We cycled by a neighbors front yard that had been landscaped with many small white rocks. Interspersed, were long stalky leaf plants rising upward towards the sun. I could physically see and feel the plants being stifled. It was unnatural. In our human ways to control nature and mold it into our definition of perfection we smother the beauty of the wild. We smother ourselves. This semi-zeroscaped yard was the human embodiment of our suppression and failure to realize our true nature. Our True self.
In the past, I would have looked at the yard and thought it had an aesthetically pleasing appearance, but today I could only see the prisons these plants were in… being buried under all the same white rocks of the same size and same shape. I felt the weight of the mundane appearance sink into their compressed roots. The plants wanted more, yet humans were trying to tame this wild life-force and plant it in polluted flower beds of unknowing. Even the soil, which is supposed to encourage vitality and growth, was flawed by the hands of human. This mock attempt by man to replicate nature was done in a way that took away the very essence of natural beauty and energy. The humans lack of awareness and misunderstanding of Self was being planted in a man made purgatory. Purgatory meaning the sense of suppression, guilt, shame, doubt and separation. The division of life from Source, from Soul, from Vibes, from God.
Even though I understood, with the utmost clarity, the imprint of man’s seclusion from Myself I was beyond happy. My face was in a permanent smile. The corners of mouth were practically touching my eyes. I gazed upon this version of human reality that so many people are entrenched in and I enjoyed it. It was all an expression of Myself and they are all beautiful in the most silly and peculiar ways. The sun Myself was shining upon my bare arms and I felt my eternal energy being absorbed into the human body I was both within and with out.
As I lovingly took in my Real surroundings it was as if the only beings emitting the most true form of energy were the trees. Their tall bodies had large beams of light that extended indefinitely and commingled with the other energy sources that were going “up.” They extended into the sky, atmosphere and cosmos. Their eternal vibrational flow of light was emitting it’s own brilliant signature for all of time to experience and cherish.
As the three of us made a left and turned down Kate’s old neighborhood, the stagnant black street we rode upon began to rise up into the air. The grid (street, sidewalk, lamp posts, houses, cars, mailboxes, front yards etc) rose in a perfectly intact state. But it separated itself from Gaia, Pachamama, our beautiful planet Earth so that the distinction between human and nature was bold and conscious. The two of My creations, human with it’s perfectly flawed perceptions and nature with it’s unabashed wildness, were attempting to live simultaneously within one another. The crust of the Earth was one dimension of reality while concurrently the human effect was another creative realm itself. The one not paying attention, while Nature Ourself tried to live in the confines that had been garnished for her.
The grid remained elevated from the Earth and I rode within both dimensions. The energy of the Earth rose through all the cracks in the asphalt, beaming light towards the cosmos. I could see every root and worm, ant and beetle moving freely and uninterrupted by human constrains. It was a stunning display of all My creations.
About halfway down the street, the entire human grid started ebbing and flowing like the waves of the ocean while still being suspended in mid-air above the Earth’s crust. I could see the gravitational/magnetic lines of the planet and they extended “up” and “throughout” indefinitely. These lines/waves/beams expanded in every direction. They went up. They went out. They pulsed and rippled forever. They were stunning.
I desired to see more, so I closed my eyes. My soft blond lashes rested gingerly upon my skin. I rode much of the remainder of our route with my human eyes concealed, rarely opening them. I knew exactly where to go and what my obstacles were. I sensed and saw in my mind’s eye shapes, colors, scents and vibrations. The human ocular field of vision is in it’s infancy compared to “future” means of sight. Yet, it is gorgeous in it’s own being.
A dog barked on our right, I opened my eyes and I saw sound waves exit his furry muzzle. The waves took on the spiraling shape of a megaphone. Skinny toward his mouth then gradually encompassing on a wider space the further his unique noise traveled. Pretty soon, the dog’s bark energy was soaring through the neighboring communities toward the towering Sierra Nevada and beyond, while simultaneously trending upward. The further the sound waves extended from the original dog source, the wider and deeper the sound vibrations penetrated.
I didn’t feel Sara. I feel one with all. It was as if Sara’s body was moving independently of the real Me, because I wasn’t necessarily inside. The human body is just a cast. I didn’t feel bones nor muscles, veins nor sensations (aside from the wind flowing through my upkept hair.) However, the top of my head, moving lower down from the crown so that it was almost the entire upper half of my head was vibrating and tingling – that I felt (energy).
We continued riding and running in unison. The sound of 4 wheels and 4 paws gently caressing the road lifted throughout our surroundings. Everything man-made looked 2D, as if it was drawn onto a canvas outcropping. The houses, the garages filled with material items, the cars parked next to the sidewalk – it was all 2D.
I looked down and saw the respiration of saliva freely flowing from Tanks hanging tongue. The drops of his “sweat” falling down and absorbing into the ground. I could see every single one of his paw prints upon the hard road. His four little paws existing indefinitely, with a windswept appearance that was indicative of him running further along. Tank was emitting and leaving an energy trace. His field wasn’t only embedded on the street, but also in the air. The energy took his same lean Husky shape and lingered in all the exact spots Tank had previously been. His field was so detailed you could see his bulging leg muscles quivering in moving suspension in the air. Tank was as beautiful in “past” energy consciousness as he was in his black tan and white furry physical body. I love this goofy pup.
I continued to peddle my bike as I smiled with my whole body. This rendition of life is absolutely beautiful. Gregg caught a glimpse of me and I registered confusion around him. I raised one finger to my lips and signaled for him to remain quiet. It was as if the sound of his voice was so out of date compared to the “new/upgraded” ways of experiencing. I wanted the silence of witnessing. The silence of One. Gregg loving and patiently observed a scene of what must have looked quite odd – his blissed out partner seemingly blindly maneuvering the streets of Clovis while sometimes giggling and always smiling.
We swiftly pulled into the driveway and our ride concluded. I handed Gregg my bike, took Tank and went inside to open the garage. My body felt light and airy as if it wasn’t true. It wasn’t the real pure form of myself. But that IS exactly what it was. The Pure form of Ourselves. The non-human part of humanity of which we call Soul, God, Source, Spirit or Truth. I depressed the garage door button and the wall to the outside world rolled upward sending in the brightness of myself. The two of us put the bikes away and headed inside.
My body felt hungry without any hunger pains, I felt physically weaker as if it needed sustenance. Gregg started making an egg scramble including: eggs, squash, zucchini, red onions, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, red peppers, himalayan salt, garlic, pepper, cumin, turmeric, etc. Generally, I help with our daily morning meal, but I told him I needed to go lie down. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel well… it was that my body felt too well.
I had the feeling you have either directly before or directly after you pass out. Where everything seems a little surreal and tingly. Every part of Sara was heightened. I lay on my back on the beige carpet with my palms facing up toward the planets. Then, my head and body started feeling extremely high. The more I focused on my breathe the higher I got. I had physically produced the state of pure ecstasy. I tried the process of levitation. With closed eyes, I saw and felt the electromagnetic pulses of energy below and above me. I intimately knew the open air above me. To levitate, you must be fully one with everything there is, has and will be. You must know and feel yourself in every aspect of the “other.” As air, I felt what it was like to be surrounding Sara’s human body. Then, I felt my body feel what it was like to be as weightless as air. I felt the energy below me rising up from the core of the earth and the feeling it had when it connected with Sara’s body. I felt what it was like for my body to feel those constant vibrations and waves. I was one with everything. My eyes started watering. Freely tearing an endless stream of bliss. It felt as if my breathing had stopped. But, it was more that it wasn’t necessary for my body to breathe. It was as if my body was operating independent of the respiratory system… yet there was absolutely nothing that was independent. Gregg walked by and asked why I was being crucified. I opened my eyes. I got up and walked into the kitchen.
My entire head and body felt as if I was in the peak of taking a conscious altering drug, yet it was so much stronger. My nose started running a clear watery stream. I couldn’t refrain from incessant yawning. My eyes had a continual flow of pure liquid flowing down the sides of my face. I was both body and head HIGH. I felt extremely hot. I felt extremely cold. Then hot again. The yawning! Gregg asked me to stir the egg scramble so I picked up the wooden spatula and did just that. Looking at our breakfast in the teflon pan (our cast iron was currently occupied) I felt and knew that I was the scramble. The individual onions and peppers, eggs and sweet potatoes. And that this body, of which was only the mold of a body, was stirring me.
Tank was laying by my feet and he reached out and placed his paw over my bare foot. I felt what it was like to have a paw and to feel Sara’s foot underneath mine. I continued stirring, yawning, while clear streams poured from my eyes and nose. There was no definition to the “outside” world… there was no outside world. It was all made up. As if there was no real substance surrounding me of which I was in. The house was not True, the stove was not True, the kitchen tiles were not True. But yet, these True beings – Tank, Gregg, the scramble, “kind of Sara” were True. But they were all living in this Fake place. Filled with stagnancy. Tank stood up and looked up into my eyes. I saw the being of Sara through his perspective. His golden brown eyes became mine. While all the while I was still able to see from Sara’s vantage point. Tank’s eyes looked the most conscious and aware and full of light I’d ever witnessed as he gazed upon me then he trotted off to drink some water. That was that.
I divided our breakfast and scooped Gregg’s portion onto a plate. I told him I couldn’t eat at the moment. I went over and embrace him from the back then the side. I placed my head upon his body and felt his heart beating. I snuggled in. I wiped my nose on his shirt while looking up at him and smiling and tenderly laughing. I felt him. The 2d version of him. I was HIGH! But my body still felt the desire to attain energy through food consumption. I didn’t necessarily want to eat, but I did. I went back to the pan, picked up the wooden spatula and scooped the remaining food onto the second plate. I picked them up and carried them to table and sat down. Everything was buzzing. My muscles were tightening involuntarily, yet I knew when they had the desire to clench and I would clench them. I was hot again. Cold again. But I wasn’t necessarily in my body to actually feel the sensation of hot and cold. I gazed down at our plates. I stood up and got two forks. One short fork for myself and a long fork for Gregg. He eventually joined after completing the dishes and wiping down the counter. I ate. But I had no sensation of eating. I couldn’t feel the food going down my throat or down my pipes. It was as if it was going into an abyss. I was the food being consumed.
My mom came into the kitchen. I was conversing with Gregg about the experience of our bike ride with Tank. I told him everything up until that very moment. I was so naturally high. My mom got out a sweet potato and proceed to cut it into pieces with a knife. I felt the fragmentation of its orange body being diced into multiple little sections. It didn’t feel good. I was being broken up. I was still whole as each piece was, but the original whole was now in many different pieces of their own new whole. It didn’t feel good. She was going to throw away the purple/redish skin of my body and I objected. “Why are you throwing that away? It’s perfectly good. That’s the best part. The part that keeps me connected and in my whole form.” She said I was weird. I thought she was weird in her desire to cut me up and throw away my body while consuming my insides in a smoothie filled with other fractured parts of the original whole. Strange indeed.
Gregg told me I was on dishes patrol. I spot washed our two plates and two forks and placed them into the void of the dishwasher. Gregg and I walked upstairs. He was folding blankets. I observed, then grabbed and folded my fleece spiderman blanket. By this point I was feeling much less high. I’m sure a lot of this had to due with the effects of the food. It was the come-down after the peak.
I looked at Gregg and told him we should make love. He got a big smile on his face and asked if I was serious. Of course. We closed the door, stripped and crawled into bed. My hands, bum and feet were cold. But I wasn’t aware of this until they came in contact with the warmth of Gregg’s being. We made love. Slow, fast, deep and long. My body tingled. My mind tingled. I felt his breathe as my own. I felt my breathe as his. I felt what it was like to have a penis and insert it into the warm comforts of a woman’s vagina… home. I felt the continual circular flow of energy being emitted as his (my) juices flowed into me and got absorbed into the puffy pink walls of Sara and then that energy rose upward and left my mouth only to once again enter into his while our tongues interlocked and frolicked with one another.
Two halves made whole in perfect union. I came. I came. I came. He and I came together. The weight of his body pressed against mine. The weight of his, becoming mine and feeling Sara underneath my skin. With no end and no beginning. Perfect union and perfect creation. I ran my fingers through his short soft brown hair sprinkled with magical white and grey specks. His skin was soft on my fingers. And Sara’s fingers were softly caressing my skin. I loved to touch him and I loved to be touched by her. He slowly began to shrink out of my body and he grabbed a shirt to soak in our Love. We lay connected with the soft embrace of our skin caressing the other. Talking and loving. Loving and being. My love for this sweet transforming being is boundless. He is my heart. He is my love. He is stunningly beautiful in his specially unique way. He is me and I am so proud of him.
The union of one with everything is our true Nature. It is our effortless Self. When we allow ourselves to think, feel, see and experience more, we open ourselves up to the real Us. Perspectives are an absolutely beautiful experience. The awakening to our true Self of God is perfectly available for everyone. Experiences like these are awaiting you. This is only the beginning. I encourage you to take it deeper. Take it further. You are limitless. Shift into true Reality. Shift into Yourself. I am you. And we are God. You are Loved. You Are Love!