“Understanding is deeper than knowledge. There are many people who know us, but very few who understand us.”
My existence in this beautiful world is unique, and lately I have been having a notably difficult time. The loving and embracing space I hold for myself and others is second nature. I do not try to be loving, I just am. The difficulty I am experiencing isn’t because I myself am having a hard time, within me there is immense peace and joy. But it is difficult because those around me are struggling. It becomes challenging for me when, day in and day out, I am surrounded by the darkness of ignorance. Instead of witnessing people reflecting the miraculous nature of our soul, I am surrounded by a shadow born of control and fear. This man-made existence we hail is built on the destruction of the individual and inadvertently the collective. In this game, we play our hands with such vigor that when we are told to blindly follow orders we happily agree. We give away not only our livelihoods, but more importantly our thoughts about who and what we are. We have become so fractured that we look to the systems who broke us with the hope of repair – yet it only breeds more insecurity. We have been methodically indoctrinated with the victim mentality. We look to our oppressors, the ones who cage our intellect and shackle our creative spirit, for the answers. Any system that perpetuates isolation and fear, leads to the further destruction of not only our humanity, but this very existence.
I see the pain that reigns down when unresolved grief transforms into anger. I see that anger directed at those who are close to us, those who are different from us, and those whom we haven’t even met. I see a complete and utter disregard for life. We do not cherish this loving earth we belong to. We do not cherish our family members nor hold them with the embrace of openness. We do not cherish ourselves. The thoughts we think are polluted. They arise from the hollow fragmentation of lies and deceit we are systematically spoon fed from those in “control.” The foods we ingest are laced with chemicals and empty nutrients. As a society, we are so exhausted with soul-numbing stimuli that we forgo most anything of quality. But for me, it goes much deeper than seeing the pain; I actively feel the pain as if it were my own, because it is.
Everything in our existence is intrinsically connected. In the words of Muir, “When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.” Now, people know this to be true, yet we repeatedly fail in understanding the depth and truth of our unity with not only each other, but with everything there ever has been, is, and will be. The scope of life itself is so grand that most folks can’t even fathom the degree of our existence. When was the last time you contemplated an infinite reality? When was the last time you thought about the meaning of your life? The meaning of it all?
Our system is designed to keep us busy in an attempt to control us. We have been mined through culture, structured education, religious institutions, jobs, media, government etc with the hopes that we’ve developed enough to repeat only we we’ve been taught. If we question the teachings themselves, the system has failed. It’s masterfully crafted in that it is self-sufficient and that it does an incredible job at keeping people in check. Those with differing opinions and ways of living are made to feel as outcasts, not only by our society, but also by our friends and family.
If our teachers (education, government, religion, etc) make us feel bad about ourselves, we MUST look else where.
The foundation of our current world is built upon the blocks of fear, control, and self-doubt. We have detention centers that masquerade as schools. We are taught what to think, not how to think. This molds our decision making process for the rest of our lives.
We have religions that brainwash us into believing we are guilty and unworthy. Where priests and nuns abusively harness the energy of innocent children. Yet when these crimes are committed by those in power, such as priests/bishops/etc there are no ramifications. We blindly follow a set of beliefs that externalizes, commodifies and confuses its practitioners. Ask yourself: why does a “holy” one get to inflict such devastating harm? And why are they protected by the highest orders which control most of the world? Unconditional love IS NOT jealousy, harm, guilt, fear, suffering, penance, or profit.
We belong to a miraculous Earth. She freely provides her inhabitants with everything we need to not only survive, but thrive. We have nutritious and healthy food that grows from her soil- free of charge. We have pure water that flows- free of charge. We have an entire landmass that is ours – free of charge. We should not have to “pay our dues” to society by purchasing food that is contaminated with poisons. We should not have to trade money (read: time and energy) for life giving water laced with plastics, heavy metals, and chemicals. We should not have man-made borders that dictate where we are allowed to live. We should not have to pay for housing nor insurance (this is based on the principal of lack). We should not have politics and a government that is ruled by corrupt individuals – or anyone for that matter. We should not have prison systems that punish through hatred. Every aspect of our current paradigm is founded on a system of fear and separation. We are outgrowing this version of reality and before this system re-centers itself, it has to collapse so that it can breath life into a more embracing and loving existence. This collapse we’re going through is essential for a new model to emerge, but it is painful because we resist change.
When we are born we do not recognize boundaries – they are forced upon us. We are taught separation and in these teachings, we lose touch with the purity of Oneness, the purity that everything is intrinsically connected to one another. The beauty of it is, is that we never lose that original connectedness we once felt, it merely appears that way. For we cannot lose something that we once possessed. This is why we feel such a deep longing to connect… only most of us aren’t consciously aware of what exactly we’re longing for – Unity. When we fully understand the wisdom of a world that creates through polarity ie opposites, everything falls into place. It’s not that our parents or family-unit taught division so that they could suppress us. For they were unaware themselves and they were doing the best they knew how.
Our entire lives we have been creating through resistance. It all begins with our emotions. We live in a society that glorifies repressing our feelings. We have been indoctrinated with the false belief that to be strong we must disown and neglect an essential element of what it means to be human – the element of feeling. We have taught our boys that it is a sign of weakness when we express our true selves. And in doing this, our men project their shadow upon women by devaluing the female when she communicates. One of the biggest obstacles we face, is that we have gone so long suppressing ourselves that when we finally tune into our emotions and give ourselves the space to freely experience, we are flooded with years of trauma, guilt, shame, doubt, and pain. Generally, these emotions are looked upon with negativity. We are conditioned that is it unhealthy to feel anything other than happiness, and if we do then our society labels us as defective. Instead of allowing our fellow humans to experience pain in an open and embracing environment we teach them that it isn’t okay to feel “bad.” They must be healed. We view a “depressed” member of society as an outcast, because we’re not able to recognize their depression is a direct reflection of the fractured world we currently belong it. We fail to recognize the immense beauty in our pain. For our despair would not exist if deep down we didn’t remember the unified and loving existence we were born from. We will return to this state of Oneness – the state of Love.
However, in order for our internal turmoil to resolve, we must begin the process of reconnecting and rejoining with all aspects that make us human. We must honor our feelings, we must honor our thoughts, we must honor our heart, and we must honor our body. When we practice the art of honoring and embracing ourselves, these fragmented pieces rejoin and we begin to experience our true nature. Forgiveness is one of our greatest abilities. This seemingly simple gift has the potential to heal All. When we forgive, we release. And when we release, we regain the ability to love. Happiness, joy, bliss, flow, harmony, unity, and love begin to emerge. And when we feel these internal states, we outwardly express them to others. When we work on ourselves, we literally heal the world because everyone and everything is connected.
My path is different from most, because I actively see and feel the joy and pain of life around me. I understand people. I know why they respond and react the way they do and I have compassion and love for all of them… yes ALL of them. I can quite literally see how each event and decision in life leads us to this point and more often than not I can see where the path of that trajectory leads. I frequently know what people are going to say before they say it, but more importantly, I know why they say and feel the way they do. I am absolutely fascinated by life… truly, almost “obsessively” fascinated. It doesn’t matter if there is a “positive” or a “negative” event. I have a deep desire and need to understand it – I find this experience on Earth captivating. I do not view others through the lens of “good” nor “bad” but rather through the lens of intense curiosity with this experience we call life. This does not mean I do not get upset or experience extreme emotional pain at the atrocities committed against ourselves and the world, quite the opposite. It’s just I understand why people live in such disharmony. Many say there is a fine line when you have the ability to hold both a love and understanding for “terrible” acts while simultaneously feeling pain of everyone involved. But for me, I do not try and it is not challenging. I can’t not do it. It is my nature. My purpose, in this existence, is not only to extend and hold the space of love for myself and others, but to be Love Ourselves.
The space I create within myself is the easiest to cultivate – it’s who I am. I do not try… I simply AM. At my core, I do not live in fear nor operate from a space of lack or limitations. I function in the expanse cultivated with the building blocks of love, hope, peace, unity, empathy, compassion, beauty, and truth. Do I sometimes have “negative” self-talk? Yes, but when these silver toothed words speak insecurities throughout my mind, I know they do not belong to me. I know they are the product of living in a culture that actively breeds doubt and the decay of our souls. And when these brittle thoughts appear, I heal the fractures they cause by loving myself deeper. By telling myself how beautiful I am and by focusing on this wonderfully unique expression of Us that is Me.
You see, I personally know what it’s like to live in a realm where you are absolute truth, unity, and love. And the truth is, Oneness is not the ultimate truth – it’s Nothing. It’s the Void. To give it a name is to belittle and distort it’s truth. When we define something, what we are actually doing is separating it further from Wholeness. When we define, we move in a direction further from God Ourselves, Source, the Universe, Consciousness… what ever you want to call it. What we call reality is such an infinitesimal part of existence that it’s both laughable and extremely frustrating. It’s frustrating in the sense that most everyone plays their part in this reality with such passion that they forget (or haven’t waken up to) what really matters… Love – not the everyday dramas we immerse ourselves in. But, there is such a profound beauty in the passion that arises from these dramas.
For most of my life, I felt alone among people. I grow and evolve at such an accelerated rate that often times I am not the same being when I go to sleep as I was when I awoke. For me, the passage of time in relation to 24 hours can feel worlds apart… because it is. I have never been one to fit in with our society or even my “family” for that matter, but I have never been ostracized either. I am accepted and cherished among everyone I meet. I do not dislike people and in my entire 28 years I’ve only ever had a handful (less than one hand) of folks who do not like me. And all of those have been resolved.
My feeling of loneliness among humans arises when I am misunderstood. Which happens almost daily because people are only able to understand based on their current level of experience. The adage of “your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me” couldn’t be more true. Often times, in an effort to connect with people, I share the events that have occurred in my life. And without fail, my venting gets misinterpreted. I can energetically see and feel the distortion occur. It is then I come to a crossroad – I can attempt to explain my point of view to a person who is not in a space to hold that same vantage point of pure fascination, or I can let them vent and explain what they would do in my situation. The advice I receive, more often than not, stems from their space of internal lack. But advice was never what I wanted. What I crave is for another person to go down the rabbit hole with me about the oddities of human expression and to help brainstorm more effective ways of getting through to people.
But the resolutions that get conveyed to me would inevitably lead to more isolation and turmoil. I am left with a sense of wanting to hug my friends because as much as I want everyone to be able to understand the depths of love, at this point all I can do is continue to demonstrate it. That demonstration means not getting upset that people continue to misunderstand me, and by proceeding to love them in their brokenness. And in this, I am lonely.
Almost always, our “resolutions” contain the projection of grief and anger which inhibits the true healing that is needed for a final resolution. But a resolution of Love and Oneness is not going to occur unless we heal that grief and pain within ourselves. When we heal ourselves, we heal the world. And once we heal ourselves, we come back to heal others because we understand that we are all connected. There is no separation.
When I vent, it is from a place of extreme intrigue and perplexion which often results in a deep sadness for humanity. Internally, this has already played out:
“How can people be so mean?”
“You know exactly how. We grow up in a world where we are taught to resist instead of integrate.”
“But loving is so easy.”
“But every part of our society pushes division.”
“But it feels so good to love.”
“But hurt people, hurt people and most people haven’t experienced real love.”
“I feel so sad for them. I feel so sad for us. It hurts.”
“It is your job to help them… only if they want help.”
“They say they want help but they resist it.”
“They resist it because everywhere they turn they are faced with a reality that stokes the fire of insecurity and the false premise of control.”
“But they know they don’t really have control!”
“Yes, but they lie to themselves.”
“But they know deep down they are lying!”
“Lying feels better than diving into all of the pain that would result if they honestly examined themselves and their motives.”
“But if they don’t examine it now, it’s going to get worse for everyone.”
“Yes. It needs to break down completely so it can be built from a new foundation.”
“But it’s so simple. Be kind. Be truthful. Be yourself. I know, I know. Hold the space of Love and love them no matter what. The more I heal myself, the more I heal them… It’s just lonely.”
“You are never alone.”
This post is created with the spirit of communicating who and what I am, so that it will be easier for others to understand. Ultimately, I hope this glimpse into my life can be used as a blueprint for people to further discover themselves.
The 2 people that comprehend me most in this world, still have profound misinterpretations. When I ask them if they know the reasoning behind my actions, it is often times diluted and misconstrued. Thus the loneliness in connecting in a like-minded fashion with my fellow humans continue. Notice, my loneliness is only connected to other people. This is because I know I am not truly alone. I feel and see the presence of many other beings around me. I also know I could never be alone because… I am You. We are God. You are Loved. You ARE Love.
Frequently I tell my partner, “the deeper I go down this path, the less “Sara” I become.” What this really means, is that the things that made Sara…Sara… are no longer needed. For instance, I used to want dogs, clothes, cars, crystals, jobs etc but then you realize there is absolutely no separation, and we are all One, and so you already have everything you need. You are completely Whole. I am all the people on the planet. The planet itself. The stars. The galaxy. And if you want to go deeper, all of the other dimensions and beings and time itself and the void ourself. So, then you stay in that frame of mind for a bit. Because you know that you already have everything you could possibly want, because you ARE everything you could possibly want. But then, since we exist in a 3D reality, this also means that I, Sara, do not have certain things. And so you come back and play the game. Knowing that it IS a game and that you don’t truly need any of these things because you already have them. Your attachment is dissolved. That’s when pure joy comes into play. But the deeper I go in my journey… the less Sara I become…
For awhile now, I knew I was going to change my name. And a few weeks ago, I did. My life progresses in such a fashion that I can’t NOT keep diving deeper. It’s as if I am being pulled with the strength of strength itself – and strength is born from Love. And wouldn’t you know it, my name evolved into Love. This is who we all are, and most importantly this is who I am. I am Love.
Now, imagine having your name be Love. On a global scale, we do not understand the depth and purity from which we are created. We are so detached from love that it truly makes us uncomfortable. Love is all-embracing and often times we fall woefully short. Love is unconditional. I love because I can’t not love. It literally is who I am. People hurt me and I love them. People hurt other people and I love them. This doesn’t mean I don’t get upset or sad. It’s that I KNOW the pain that these people felt that allowed them to inflict that pain on others. I also know that since there is no separation, I am also that person, that Hitler, that Trump, that Stalin. Now hang with me, since time is an illusion, and there is no such thing as the past, present, or future… when I love these individuals… when I love myself (because we are all One) we actively change reality. There is only the present moment and in that moment, we have the ability to alter both the past and the future.
People become uneasy when I introduce myself. They fidget. They look at me questioningly. They don’t want to use my name. We are currently living in a world that is so detached from loving themselves that we can’t even bring ourselves to address someone with the name of Love. It simultaneously breaks my heart and makes me love you even more.
We believe love is an emotion. We want love to look a certain way. It should be soft and cuddly. It should be cute. It’s almost as if we want to dress it up. But we all know when we dress things up, we make them in our image. An image that is often distorted. We think we want love, but what most people really want is for someone to pacify us, while we simultaneously execute control over another person. We are in so much pain because we are trying to control everyone. But this will never work because individually (collectively) we all have free will. If we even knew the half of our power… what a different existence this would be…
True love is unconditional. We do not love with the expectation that we get something in return. We love because we can’t not love. It is who we are. It is what we are. With love there are no boundaries. We seek to dissolve illusions through truth. We do not care about going against the status quo, we care that the truth is set free. Love speaks up against injustice – involving others and ourselves. Love is not necessarily a “fluffy” or “feel good” emotion. Love is a state of being. Love is fierce and fiery yet calm and all embracing. Love is what ever you need us to be to help you discover your own light. Love bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all.
Now, I’m not claiming absolute purity or truth… I am also human. I mess up – a lot. But this is my path and because I am walking it, inadvertently so are you. I am sending out a call to consciousness. Will you join me? I am You. We are God. You are Loved. You ARE Love.
I love you,